September 10, 2021

Now is different

When I turned 40 (years ago) I woke up that day wanting to be somewhere else with someone else doing something else. My life was good at the time; but that’s how I woke up. It lasted 3 days.

Then I realized that nothing had changed.  I looked exactly how I did the night before at 39 and had a great husband, career, home etc. etc. After 3 days the feeling went away and did not return for many years …. till now.

But now is different…Now is strange…I had a face lift in 2020 expecting to go back to work a few months later…not only did I not go back to work but wearing masks became mandatory and my new expensive face stayed hidden, and all my jobs left the building.

Now is different.

I’m still in therapy sometimes gazing at my navel and sometimes gazing at yours…going to recovery meetings and semi-pretending things are semi-normal. They are not. Now is different.

I’m not alone in all the political muck…disappointing unvaxers, voter discrimination and basically the demise of truth. I am tired of people defending their insanity…it is neither pleasant nor interesting just disheartening.

Now is different.

So, what’s the solution? Well…. I’m going to stay hopeful…I know how mundane and horrifically stupid this sounds but I’ve decided at least for today to stay hopeful.

Now is different …but now is not forever.

I am hopeful.