“YES”

 

Every week someone tells me to write a book....so easy for them to say.

First of all, I’m not a very good writer, secondly writing is painful, and thirdly I haven’t finished cleaning my garage...even though I had the whole year of the pandemic to do it.  Shall we discuss priorities?

I’m in Alcoholics Anonymous...it’s an anonymous program or at least use to be. Now it makes grand attempts at being one...Facebook sort of blew the begejus out of that concept.

I’ve been sober a long time and my best girlfriend wants to argue with me that I was only a very, very, bad drug user not an alcoholic. She didn’t see me for a couple of years in Vegas when I was kind of blowing out...it’s okay, it’s all pretty much the same. Alcohol is a liquid drug. Choose your poison. Sick is Sick.

I used to be really crazy and have a litany of psychiatric illness to prove it. I was crazy and now I'm not. I get crazy, but I’m not crazy...Is that why people keep pouncing on me about the book?  Or is it that I call out bullshit?  Or is it that I have banged and thrashed in life, AA, and therapy to combat most of my demons and won? Or at least survived and navigated mental illness to live a pretty good life? Not sure. Or maybe they don’t know what to say so they start dictating policy.... telling you what you should do with your life, so they don’t have to look at their own life. Staying outer focused is a very good way to deflect from looking at your own personal inner turmoil. Stay in your own hula hoop mother-f---ers.

You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. I get to decide that. You only get to decide what’s best for you. Psychology 101. You don’t know what’s best for me...you just think you do. I just figured out what I am going to say to people when they tell me to write a book... Shut the f--- up. Oops

 

Okay, okay, sorry. I got a little dramatic there.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay. I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to attempt to write a book. I’m taking on the challenge of writing a book.

Trust me I am as surprised as you are.

After all my resistant dialogue, I’ve decided to possibly try and write a book. Funny huh?

Why am I doing this?

I’m not sure. All I can come up with is if enough people suggest something-even though you, or in this case I, find it offensive …. maybe they see something we don’t see. Maybe, just maybe, there is some merit to their suggestion.

Maybe this is the moment I suspend what I think I know and consider other points of view?

Isn’t that what I had to do to get well? To get sober? To turn my life around? I had to risk, and trust, and follow other people’s suggestions. People smarter than me, people wiser than me, trustworthy people who weren’t afraid to tell me the truth.

I had to become coachable.

So today, I say, “Yes.”

Let the writing begin……………………

I don’t believe I can do it…but my answer is still,

 “YES.”